Driven to be kinda-good..
Updated: Mar 16, 2020
It just so happens that a local health club, Peak Fitness, is hosting a pilates training class this weekend. It’s the Physical Mind Institute/also known as “the Method”. Pilates training is never cheap. Even the most basic levels are $40o.00. Even though I’ve been teaching mat pilates since 2007, I still look forward to learning new things! And yes, I was able to scrape together the funds for the class.
Most pilates teachers make money– a lot of money. I’m just in a place right now that I can’t be at the commitment level to actually make money in anything whether it’s blogging, pilates teaching, or English teaching. Basically, all of these creative outlets are just that–creative outlets.
Half of me says: “Girl! If you just focus on ONE thing, you could do well in it! You could have your own studio. You could train others and help people.. etc.”
And then the other half says, “At what price?” It not only costs money but TIME to do WELL in anything.
And what’s wrong with just being an organizing mommy?
I can be kinda good in just a few things and eliminate the expectations from the outside world.
When a person pursues goals with enough passion to be really good at them, they risk the possibility of being mediocre in the things that really matter. Which, by the way, is a constant internal battle going on in my head.
I’m such a driven person that I have a really hard time accepting “kind of good” in anything–whether it’s blogging, pilates training, cooking, sewing/ designing, or organizing. Do you guys get that way? And I see it in other people’s lives through their blogs. They have to be “fantastic” at blogging. or cooking. or whatever. And why?
I think I know why. Being a simple homemaker and mommy is a hard job, with very few rewards and perks. I know I’ve been there. In fact, I’m still there. It was worse though.
I think the hardest time of my life was when the older four were: 7, 5, 3, and 1. The older kids needed school. The laundry needed doing, and the meals needed cooking. The one year old needed nursing, and the mommy needed sleeping. And yet, even though I was a wimp and cried and complained most of the time during those years, I lived through it. I can’t say that anyone has asked me to write a training manual for mothers surviving those years, but I did make it through.
I can hardly believe that was over 10 years ago. And to think that I had a mini-meltdown yesterday because I felt like the years went too fast, and I hardly remember what happened. Through panic-striken fear, a nagging question haunted me: “Did I spend ENOUGH time with my kids?”
And the Lord reminded me that I really didn’t do anything else other than spend time with my kids. It really wasn’t physically possible to spend any more time with them than I did.
And that was the only thought that gave me peace.
Yes, Lord. I will be kinda-good in everything else, so I can be a really good mommy and wife.
Thanks for reminding me.