Great things that my mom says
Updated: Feb 24
If you haven’t met my Mother, I’m so sorry for you. She’s really neat. The only problem is that she owns her own language. She has many special things she says. Some of which I can interpret for you and others.. well.. I’ll just use my best guess. I am going to give you a Grandma Dictionary, complete with sample sentences. There will be a vocabulary test at the end of the post.
Without further ado, the “mother tongue”
1)bonkos pronounced like “broncos”
adjective/ definition: abundant, with great speed, ambition, growth or velocity
“Those tomato plants really went bonkos.” or “Don’t tell your father that; he’ll go bonkos.”
2) borcoli pronounced like “bork-a-lee”
noun/ def: broccoli, those little tree-looking vegetables
“Shall we have steamed borcoli with our grilled pork chops?” or “I’ve noticed you’ve got some borcoli growing down there in the garden next to those brussel sprouts.”
3) pewcon: pronounced “Puke-on”
noun/ definition: coupon.
“I had a 40% off pew-con for Kohl’s, and I brought Jamie some new towels for school.” or
“I thought I had that receipt for Penneys, and there it was, right next to the Joann’s pewcon”
4)gunky: pronounced like “funky”
noun/ definition: a blob of something that is stuck to something else.
“I noticed you had some gunky down there. I hope you don’t mind that I used a spatula to get it up.”
5) gradoo or gradooey pronounced like they sound.
noun/ def: see gunky.
“There was some gradooey on Nathanael’s shirt, but the ole Stainmaster, Grandma, was able to get it out.”
When Grandma wants to steam some vegetables, she looks for:
a) an onion
When Grandma wants to get a good deal, she uses her:
b) credit card
When grandma has a spatula in her hand she is:
a) making pancakes
b) using it as a make-shift fly swatter
c) getting gunky off the floor.
Scoring: If you answered “C” for each question, you are correct. You can speak “Grandma Jude”.