• Jena

Having Fears?

This week, I had this strange experience of being afraid of teaching my regular pilates class.  I’ve been teaching for about a year, and I wasn’t having difficulty before the break.  Then because of the holidays and snow days, it ended up being a 3 week break.  Ugh.  

All I can think of is this:

1. I’ve put on a little weight; nobody likes a chubby exercise teacher.

2. I can’t remember a rollup from a plank.

3. The “other” exercise teachers are “better”.

Ugh.  So, it was time to start teaching on Wednesday, and I couldn’t tell if I was sick or my little one.  You know how mommies have that strange ability to project their symptoms on their kids and spouses?  So, I called for a sub and then later realized that neither of us was sick, but I had developed some sort of fear-of-teaching-exercise phobia.  

Incidentally, there is no name for such a phobia.  There wasn’t even a fear of exercise phobia listed.  Hummph..  I can’t believe it.  Anyway, I called my sweet Mom (above).  She prayed with me.  She asked me a simple question, “Is this worth it?”  

Is it worth it? Yes.  I love it.  But I put it to prayer (again) and asked God to give me a fresh vision here.  Yes, I’m a busy mom, and I do a lot of things, but I need this.  If I’m not teaching the class, I might be tempted to not go!  Also, I can be a light! and an encouragement!  I also have training, so I can help women be healthy!   It doesn’t take that much time, and I do think it is worth it.  

So, I girded up my loins and put on many layers and ventured out today.  I humbled myself before the Lord and asked for help.  Yes, I have 10 pounds to lose, and yes, my knowledge is a little rusty, and there will always be someone who can do it better.  But I have THIS day to improve and give it the best I can, and I did.  I really did.  I’m back!  I’m going to teach those people, with God’s help, I will.


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