• Jena

Just put it on a billboard then.

Updated: Mar 16, 2020

Does everybody talk as much as I do?

O.K. don’t answer. It’s not fair. I was born with the loquacious gene, the gift of gab.. or lack of gift, I suppose. Gift implies that there is some good there. You tell me.

Here’s the scene.

My friend Shelly and I just finished our Saturday workout with the killer bee. (Yes, I went back..) And as we walked into the locker room, I noticed two ladies talking. Actually, there was one lady talking, and the other was in a proverbial head lock, imprisoned by her friend. I catch vibes like that.

So, I jump in the shower and dry off, get dressed and proceed for the hairdryer.

They (she) is still talking. It was about a book club. Somehow, I got wind that they were in a book club together, and some other person who they both know managed to not only quit the book club but announce that the club was disbanding. The horror! The shock! I know. A situation like this requires hours.. even days of therapy.

I could tell the lady in the headlock was doing her best to downplay the situation. But every time she mellowed out, her friend, the drama queen of the nifty fifties, managed to stir everything up again. Her friend was not budging. She remained nonplussed.

I drowned it all out by blowdrying my big hair until every follicle was dry to the bone. Alas, it was time to use the curling iron. And I was back on the drama queen channel again.

So, with curling iron in one hand and hair spray in the other, I blurted out,

“Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you rent a big billboard in the middle of town that says, “Such and so tried to cancel our book club, but it is still on. She is a looser any way, like everyone knows..”

They turned to me and burst out laughing. (I took a risk there, so I was glad for the laughter)

And then they proceeded to tell me about how wonderful their book club was and what great books I should be reading and dove right into the plot. But before they could get too far, I asked them if they had seen the commercial with a book club in it. They hadn’t, so I had to go into great detail about it.

I’m not normally one to ..uh… post about Bud Light, since I don’t really drink and all. But the mere description of this commercial sent them into peals of laughter, and the imprisoned headlocked gal made her exit rather smoothly. I, on the other hand, felt like I had done a good deed for the day– rescuing the gal and all–not necessarily promoting Bud Light.

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