Pandemic Heart searching
Ten weeks ago, I had no way of knowing what the spring would look like. I just knew that things were going to be different. I was optimistic, but I'm also a realist. And I quickly went into survival mode.
I was worried about "my people". So, one of the first things I did once I realized that I couldn't see my clients and friends anymore was get out a large notebook and write down the name of everyone that I regularly come in contact with.
In my notebook, I had many lists of people, organized by category along with the names of their spouses and kids or whomever they regularly talked about. And then I just sat down and prayed. I prayed for their safety from this virus. I prayed for their souls. I prayed for their mental health. I just prayed.
And then I had a difficult decision to make as to whether or not I was going to try to work or rest during this time. Since it was illegal to give massages and it was not practical to start an entirely new career, I decided to take a Sabbatical.
That, my friends, was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I don't like "resting", but the Lord was showing me how important this is. And here are some of the things I learned during my rest.
The first question I asked myself was this: Do I even like massage therapy? After all, I do a lot of different things. Maybe the Lord is trying to get my attention and redirect me? A lot of my colleagues made the decision to leave the profession for a variety of reasons. And I thought it was a question worth asking.
After a few weeks of contemplating this hard question, my answer was an emphatic YES!! I not only LIKE massage therapy, but I actually LOVE it. My hands are connected to my heart. My heart flows through the hands. The energy I get back from the client flows back into me and I am able to connect my brain/ frontal cortex/ decision making part of my brain. In other words, when I use my hands, I can think better-- but especially when my hands are connected to my heart. Incidentally, I would love to understand more of the neuroscience behind this. But for now, I am just amazed at the simplicity and the complexity of how this works.
The next question I had to ask is do I really like doing massage therapy at the business location that I have chosen? The reason this question came up is that my rent continued to have to be paid and given my situation and business model, no government relief was forthcoming. Right at the time when I was really asking the Lord for wisdom, I got a call from the office. They had what looked like a possible check. Sure enough, some work that I had completed earlier in the year was just now getting paid-- the exact amount needed for rent and my other business related expenses. The Lord provided exactly what I needed when I needed it. So, yes, my office location at Cater Chiropractic on Riverside has been a blessing in so many ways. When I think about how I feel about being affiliated with such a good chiropractor-- I am blessed, thankful and filled with joy. Dr. Cater is filled with integrity and faithfulness to his wife and children as well as being blessed with great chiropractic skill. And his secretary is one of my favorite people also.
So now it is June. We are able to go back to doing massage therapy, albeit with restrictions. I knew that my God had my soul weathering this storm for no other reason than to confirm my calling. Even with the cumbersome masks and safety measures, the clients are thrilled to be back on the table. God is really using this.. me.. this whole thing is his work. Clients are coming back. Thankfully, I remembered how to do massages. I am thrilled to see every client. I am back. Thank you Lord Jesus!